"Yeah," the Bull murmurs, focusing on Dorian's voice, on what he can see of him. It's not a great time for the Bull to have this conversation, even though this might be the only time that Dorian could; it's taking so much to hold off the stupider parts of his mind, still yelling about the weight above him and the pressure against his shoulders and the dark, like he hasn't already noticed any of it, that it's hard not to feel like he isn't handling this like he should.
He tucks Dorian's words away, just in case. If he says the wrong thing now it's not like he can take it back, but he can at least try to figure out the right thing, later.
If he can't figure out how much sensitivity or sympathy Dorian needs right now, he might as well just say what he's thinking. Not saying anything would probably be worse, after Dorian shared all that.
"It's harder to deal with when you're never really going to know," he says and, though it might be halfway hidden by all the tension in the Bull's voice already, the words have the weight of his own memories behind them. "Especially when it's someone who was good to you like that."
There's some things even the Ben-Hassrath aren't good enough to find out. That applies to this, too; their spies aren't exactly the kind of people who get welcomed in by the Venatori, so there's not a lot of sense in offering to have his people try to look into it. Or maybe there is. Maybe there's still something there to find, if Red's people haven't looked already. Another thing for the Bull to tuck away and think about once he can.
"Don't know if this helps or not," he says, still kind of flying by the seat of his pants on how to handle this, "but if it was me, that's how I'd want to go out. Going up against some evil assholes to save a good man's life, not getting sicker and sicker till I died in bed."
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He tucks Dorian's words away, just in case. If he says the wrong thing now it's not like he can take it back, but he can at least try to figure out the right thing, later.
If he can't figure out how much sensitivity or sympathy Dorian needs right now, he might as well just say what he's thinking. Not saying anything would probably be worse, after Dorian shared all that.
"It's harder to deal with when you're never really going to know," he says and, though it might be halfway hidden by all the tension in the Bull's voice already, the words have the weight of his own memories behind them. "Especially when it's someone who was good to you like that."
There's some things even the Ben-Hassrath aren't good enough to find out. That applies to this, too; their spies aren't exactly the kind of people who get welcomed in by the Venatori, so there's not a lot of sense in offering to have his people try to look into it. Or maybe there is. Maybe there's still something there to find, if Red's people haven't looked already. Another thing for the Bull to tuck away and think about once he can.
"Don't know if this helps or not," he says, still kind of flying by the seat of his pants on how to handle this, "but if it was me, that's how I'd want to go out. Going up against some evil assholes to save a good man's life, not getting sicker and sicker till I died in bed."