"If whatever that is is something I can kill, kind of feeling like a good idea to go for it anyway." Go in the woods and let himself lose it, maybe not come back-- It'd finally started seeming, back home, like that wasn't going to happen. Like maybe the people around him could survive him living without the Qun after all, like he really wasn't going to need it. He isn't ready to go back to that. All that time wondering if he could afford to stop believing it was going to happen someday, and now--
Slow breath, again. Smell of the whiskey. Aden didn't add anything but it's still a bad idea to drink before he sees Aden doing it; no matter what the guy's really like or what his goals here really are, with the mood that Bull's been in if he's the one to drink first it's going to bug him, and he doesn't need that right now. Still, good to have something to hold and smell and feel and focus on.
"Back home, someone gets that close to the Fade and comes out of it not remembering the stuff they did, that'd mean demons." He says it heavily but flatly, emotion pressed out of his voice, or maybe too much emotion pressing onto it, compressing into one big weight that crushes everything unlucky enough to get caught underneath it. He doesn't exactly wish demons were his worst problem right now, but all the same, it would be sort of nice. "But back home, being inside there in the first place is supposed to be a really big fucking deal, not-- not void councils and missions and people in there trying to bring order to the whole thing, it's--"
Another breath. Focus. Prioritise.
"You said you're fighting a war out here, right? If I'm going to stick around without getting in your way, I'm probably going to need to know about it. Why don't you give me the rundown, we'll see how much sense I can actually make out of it."
no subject
Slow breath, again. Smell of the whiskey. Aden didn't add anything but it's still a bad idea to drink before he sees Aden doing it; no matter what the guy's really like or what his goals here really are, with the mood that Bull's been in if he's the one to drink first it's going to bug him, and he doesn't need that right now. Still, good to have something to hold and smell and feel and focus on.
"Back home, someone gets that close to the Fade and comes out of it not remembering the stuff they did, that'd mean demons." He says it heavily but flatly, emotion pressed out of his voice, or maybe too much emotion pressing onto it, compressing into one big weight that crushes everything unlucky enough to get caught underneath it. He doesn't exactly wish demons were his worst problem right now, but all the same, it would be sort of nice. "But back home, being inside there in the first place is supposed to be a really big fucking deal, not-- not void councils and missions and people in there trying to bring order to the whole thing, it's--"
Another breath. Focus. Prioritise.
"You said you're fighting a war out here, right? If I'm going to stick around without getting in your way, I'm probably going to need to know about it. Why don't you give me the rundown, we'll see how much sense I can actually make out of it."